Wait and Waste

Here I am again.
Waiting.
Wasting time that doesn't even belong to me.
I sit, in the dark, alone, floating in the sea of my bad mood, pouring more water in it with every minute.
Waiting.
Waiting when I should be taking care of the home, the dog, the cultural experiences, the fun.
I should just get up and do something, be responsible, be happy, not think about it.
Stop waiting for a life that will never be mine.
Stop dreaming of something, anything.
And stop wasting time.
It doesn't belong to me.
It should go into being satisfied with the reality, finding what's worth in it.
It should go into living. Making memories. I know.
It's not meant for waiting and wasting, not meant for feeding the demons that make sure I will always feel alone.
It's not meant to be wasted on me.
But I still wait.
Wait and waste, because I don't care.
What else is there?