Rift Reapers

Crooks have many names amongst people: Evil-doers, villains, the bad guys. We call them Rift Reapers -those who open the doors. Well, more like the ones that rip holes into the walls between the worlds. We don't know how they came to be -one moment there was none, the next we found the first Reaper. And all too soon there was more of them. There's something in them that allows them to bring objects and creatures from other worlds into ours with a simple thought. I don't know how, I doubt anyone does, but I do know it hasn't been a good thing. Not at all.

We do our best to repair the rifts the Reapers leave behind, to banish whatever they happen to call forth. I suppose that's why people have started to call us Healers, heroes of our world. I guess it's understandable, we are trying to protect our world after all. And sometimes it requires hard actions.

No one knows how we're able to banish what the Reapers can create. Or what really happens. Do we kill them? Send them back to their worlds? Or maybe we simply erase their code from the universe. I guess that would be a more appropriate title -Eraser.

I was discovered when I banished our neighbor's dog. I was two, and got scared when it licked my face, though my supervisor would say it was all a lie if he knew I was told this. I guess it explains why I'm so good at what I do, why banishing Reapers and their creations has never been a problem to me. I didn't even have a problem banishing the Reaper that told me about my past. I seem to be a natural. But I do sometimes wonder where that dog ended up.

The Reapers are sadistic monsters who only want to create chaos and destruction. That's what they've told us many times along the road. Almost always it has been true, at least if you ask their victims. And I, too, used to be sure about it. Unfortunately I haven't been too sure about anything lately. But right now, when I'm standing here covered in the blood of a young unicorn, when the pale blue eyes of the little girl in front of me are starting to understand what ”death” means... Now I know that I'm on the wrong side.

Dream of Dragons and Demons

I dream of dragons and demons
Dream of faraway places and different times
Walk through this world with my head filled with dreams
Dreams that drive you insane

My dreams are the wrong dreams
For they are not your dreams
My dreams are the wrong dreams
Because they are not what you believe

I dream of dragons and demons
Dream of long-gone days and forgotten honor
Walk amongst you with my head hid in dreams
Dreams that flare your anger

My dreams are the wrong dreams
For they are not your dreams
My dreams are the wrong dreams
Because they don't have your goal

I dream of dragons and demons
Dream of lost peace and misplaced love
Walk away from you with my hand reaching for those dreams
Dreams that you want to destroy

I dream of dragons and demons
Dream of hidden strength and inner beauty
Hold fast to my secret dreams
Dreams you try to change

My dreams are the wrong dreams
For they are not your dreams
My dreams are the wrong dreams
Because that is what you say

I'll just dream of dragons and demons
Dragons and demons till I hear you no more

A million names, a million faces. A friend, a foe, a distant acquaintance. What I am depends on what you see, what you want me to be. But in truth I am nothing like that, I'm nothing you think I am. I'm not anyone. I'm me.

A writer who can't write

Here it is again,
The feeling,
The craving,
The need to do something,
Bring something alive.
A sensation of drowning,
Suffocating in your own fear,
And the overwhelming anger
That tears me apart from the inside.
When there's a need to create
without the tools for it.
When you know it's not meant for you
but the need eats you alive.
And then the despise,
The empty sadness that's left
When these words are written
And they are not what they should.

Stray dogs

A bright summer's day
When you wait a call to go out
A silent winter's night
When you wait for conversations to sprout
Do you know that day, do you know that night?
That lonely quest, that solemn plight?
Do you feel it now, do you hear it too?
Perhaps right now it could all be untrue
If only you were here
Or we both happened to be there

But perhaps there is a way
When there's something we feel the need to say
For me to be there and you to be here
When no one else is anywhere near
So let these humble words take yours away
And let your spirit free and go astray
I might be here
And you may be there
But perhaps somewhere in between
Our spirits find a way to meet

Nothing

"What's wrong?" you ask
Like the best of friends.
"Nothing," I say
Like the foulest fiend.
"Surely something," you say
"I can see it from your face."

And you keep on insisting
Like a broken reacord,
Till I finally crack
Like a sleeping volcano.

And I pour it all out
Like a bucket of water,
All my fear and hatred
Like an ocean of poison.
All my anger and frustration,
All that pain and suffering
That grows within me,
That I feed within me.

"That's all?" you ask
Like the foulest fiend.
"Yeah, that's all," I say
Like the best of friends.
But inside we both know
That you won't hear,
You won't care,
Because you don't know that nothing
Is the worst kind of something.

Shadows that once were

A shadow that once was
Is filled with light now
No longer does it hide in the crowd
No longer does it cry
A shadow that once was
Only echoes in memories

A shadow that once was
Found a way to fight
Now stands at the edge of dawn
Now torn between the two
A shadow that once was
Hears only screams

A shadow that once was
Was pushed to deeper darks
New walls to overcome
New paths nowhere
A shadow that once was
Can now only whisper

When is the right time to give up?
To raise your hands and walk away?
Is there a right time?
Is it ever okay to let go?
Or should you keep trying and trying
Hoping for a change
Till all hope is lost?
Which is worse:
To give up and let hope die
Or live in false hope till hope gives up?

Hearts' Desire

What do hearts desire
If not to be joined by others
In a dance so sweet and innocent
That it lights them afire

What do hearts desire
If not to be set free from care
So to rise up and up away
Till only angels can fly any higher

What do hearts desire
If not to be swept with tides
Of ideas and epiphanies
That only the living can acquire

What do crying hearts desire
If not to be free from desire

How Silly

Do you remember yesterday
When we fought like a pair wild cats
How silly it now feels, don't you agree
For me to be angry with a friend like you

Do you remember last month
When we talked for hours and laughed forever
How silly it now feels, at least for me
That such good friends haven't talked in such a while

Do you remember last year
When we last exchanged words as dearest friends
How silly it now feels, I'm sure you agree
For me to miss a friend as old as that

Rorschach

I stare at the paper
As blank as my mind
Waiting for something to happen
Something to come
Wait and wait
But nothing will come

My mind starts to wonder
As my eyes stay put
Staring at the paper
Still untouched and unharmed
White as the dead
Bright as the past
Shining in the light
Like a sun dying at least

The world gets dim
But the paper still shines
Bright as my mind
In the blackness of my thoughts
As the darkness grows
I still stare
The brightness of the paper
As blank as my mind

Then the light is gone
All left in dark
As the blindness falls over
The white paper is gone
No place to hide
Nowhere to run
As I fall into the dark
The blank paper is no more

As my mind comes back
I look at the paper
The paper I used to know
The paper that was once blank
But no more will it shine in the light
No more will it shine in the dark
For a black blot now spreads there
On the paper that once was white

As I look at the blot
It fills in the blank
Like tendrils of the dark
It spreads through the light
Till it can no more
It's power all gone
Till all is finished
The blank page is done

And as I look at the blot
Now spread on the blank
I see a face I know
The face of my thoughts

Someone on my own

They call me my mother's child
And my husband's lover
Know me by my blade's fairness
And my vengeance's hunger
But though I love my mother dearly
And feed my vengeance only barely
I wish they knew me as someone else
Something on my own

They know me as the angel's wrath
And the devil's bane
Call me the daybreak's star
And the moonlight's wish
But though death is nothing I fear
Even when darkness is always near
I whish they knew me as something else
Someone on my own

Inside

They take my presence as a challenge
Think I'm distant to be cold
But there's a fire in my heart
Burning everything to the ground
If what's in tells more than what's out
No wonder no one looks any deeper

They mix humility with kindness
And silence with fear
But there's a viper in my thoughts
Poison in every word
When eyes are the window to your soul
I don't wonder why none will look at mine

They take my cries as a joke
My solitude as peace
But there's a darkness in my heart
Nightmares in my mind
If the inside shapes your outside
No wonder this face is not my liking

Just out of Spite

There's a voice in my head
Telling me I might as well be dead
On these bad, bad days
When nothing seems to go the right way
Telling me to give it up
Walk away
Because this could never be the right way

There's a tone in their voice
Screaming that I don't have a choice
No choice but to fail
Because I'm just too frail
Screaming me to give in now
Take a bow
It's time for the curtain to fall

Would you give up
Say 'enough'
And accept the way it is?
Could you give up
Vanish in a 'puff'
Be a victim of their truth?

That is what I ask
On these bad, bad days
And I say 'no'
Just out of spite
When nothing is going the right way

Odyssey

I lead my life
As best as I can
To a direction unknown
To a tale untold
Where -I hope- awaits my role in life

I take the path
That looks the part
Feels about right
Can take me to my passions
And drop me on their path

I walk through the night
The dark and cold
Won't tremble in the rain
Won't falter by the cliff
Not even in the darkest night

But where is my guiding light?
My passions lost along the way
Where is my guiding light?
My time to shine?

Somewhere between India and Ithaca

"So, what did you do?"
"I found the west way to India."
"No, actually you didn't."
"Oh right....I keep forgetting that. But hey, finding a continent is a lot more impressive anyway."
"That it is, that it is."
"How about you?"
"Me? Oh, I didn't really do anything but sailed around. The odyssey, you see."
"Ah, that thing. Took your time to get back home, eh?"
"Quite long, yeah."
"Hey, you still got back, didn't you? And all those adventures! That really must have made the journey better than the end."
"Well, I'd rather have reatched the end sooner."
"Ah, I wish I could be on an odyssey someday. All those endless possibilities, not knowing where you end up! You're so lucky."
"I guess...Though I'd like to know where I'm heading already."

Hero

What I need is a hero
Though it's not what I want
Someone to tell me how it is
And to show me how it should be

What I want is a lackey
Though it's not what I need
Someone to say it was a good effort
And to nudge me towards trying again

But what I want is not what I need
Because that's in here already
And it takes a hero to bring it out

An average
Ordinary
Everyday
Superhero

So I better get my cape

The End

A crook for a cop
An idol for an enemy
Everyone is a hero
When end justifies the means

A dagger for a kiss
A rose for a bullet
Every shot is just
When end justifies the means

A Soul Without A Lover

Dried tear stains
Missed last trains

An eagle without wings
A fish out of water
Like a lost little thing
Is a soul without a lover