Wait and Waste

Here I am again.
Waiting.
Wasting time that doesn't even belong to me.
I sit, in the dark, alone, floating in the sea of my bad mood, pouring more water in it with every minute.
Waiting.
Waiting when I should be taking care of the home, the dog, the cultural experiences, the fun.
I should just get up and do something, be responsible, be happy, not think about it.
Stop waiting for a life that will never be mine.
Stop dreaming of something, anything.
And stop wasting time.
It doesn't belong to me.
It should go into being satisfied with the reality, finding what's worth in it.
It should go into living. Making memories. I know.
It's not meant for waiting and wasting, not meant for feeding the demons that make sure I will always feel alone.
It's not meant to be wasted on me.
But I still wait.
Wait and waste, because I don't care.
What else is there?

Saints and Angels

Flying with the butterfly wings
Can you hear how the angel sings?
Of laughter and joy and happy thoughts
And the dreams it today caught

Saints and angels with their pretty smiles
Saints and angels with their petty cries

Sitting by the golden gates
Can you see the waiting saint?
The perfect, pure and ever so kind
No dark wish clouding it's mind

Saints and angels with their pretty smiles
Saints and angels with their simple trials

Crawling through the darkest night
Can you see the devil fight?
The shadows, demons all closing in
The only way out leading through sin

Saints and angels with their pretty smiles
Saints and angels with their peaceful eyes

Welcome

Words from a warped mind
Thoughts of a twisted soul

A journey through the deepest dark
To find the brightest light
A quest of truth and knowledge
And of peace of mind

A search
A search for myself
And someone who understands

The world inside awaits
The realm of twisted thoughts
Enter, you are welcomed

A life in a box

The first one you see -The last one you notice

Sorrow
pain

guilt

hidden from their eyes

kept in the dark

to give you hope and dreams

and wings for your soul

to set it free

The box includes:
pictures
an Iron Maiden CD
dark chocolate
a book by Brown
a purple alien
a knife with a peach colored handle
a whitered tulip
a comic book about a nerdy gang roleplaying
a dragon
a thesis about women in the middle ages
a book about westies
a quote book

an article about vet humor