The Heart of Darkness

Forgotten without a footnote

2010-10-31T04:12:00.000-07:00

Pain without a reason
Tearing me apart from the inside
Fear without a focus
Trapping me into darkness
Whispers in my head
Pushing me to madness

But from the pain
Rises my resolve
From the fear
Comes my tenacity
From the whispers
Emerges my compassion

Why should I change
To fit their standards
Why won’t this form of mine
Fit in the pattern of the world
Which of me must die
For the rest to finally belong

Hold on to madness
Maybe it’ll turn into greatness
Grasp the strands of uncertainty
Perhaps they’ll turn into stability

But the mad only die alone
Forgotten without a footnote
And the uncertain break apart
Falling to their own impossibility

Hold on to madness
Hold on to madness
Hold on to madness
Maybe it'll turn into greatness

Those Words

2010-10-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

Those words
The ones we yelled
About him
Felt so justified
So true
Made me feel so clever
So clairvoyant and smart
Those words
Clouding my perception

Those words
The ones we said
About her
Felt so secret
And so delicious
Made me feel so mature
So intelligent and worthy
Those words
Turning me into something I despised

Those words
The ones you whispered
About me
Must feel so true
Must be so true
Must feel so justified
And so secret
Those words
The ones you don't try to hide

Rise to Arms

2010-09-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

Our borders breeched
Our gates reached
With a vile screech
They start their siege

No place to hide
Until the blood has dried
So every man of pride:
It's time for us to ride!

Now rise to arms
Cast out your fear
Let out a roar
For all to hear
Our message strong and
Sharp as a spear:
"We're here to win
Your end is near!"

Homes torn asunder
The sun going under
Their resolve strong as thunder
Our survival just a wonder

But from our bodies worn
A stronger hope is born:
Look up to a new morn
And hear the triumph of the horn!

Now rise to arms
And get your gear
Let out a roar
And rise to cheer
Our knights have come
And the fate is clear:
Our day will dawn
As their end draws near

The tide is turning
Their bodies burning
With a bloody yearning
Our defiance returning

So knights of grace
It's time to race:
Show them their place
And leave no trace!

Now rise to arms
Cast out your fear
Let out a roar
For all to hear
Our message strong and
Sharp as a spear:
"We're here to win
Your end is near!"

Fire the guns

2010-09-13T09:48:00.000-07:00

Fire the guns
Sound the drums
Watch the smoke block out the sun
Thank the sons
For what is done
For from the war returns no one

Fear our drums
Flee our guns
We have mercy for none
So do not shun
Those who will run
Because our deeds can't be undone

March to war

2010-08-14T08:38:00.000-07:00

Beat the drums
As the Riders go down to war
Blow the horns
As the Riders go down to war
Sound the bells
As the Riders go down to war

Raise the flags
As the Dragons fly off to battle
Bar the gates
As the Dragons fly off to battle
Load the cannons
As the Dragons fly off to battle

Lift your heads
As the Knights march out to die
Raise your swords
As the Knights march out to die
Fire your voices
As the Knights march out to die

A step and a stop

2010-08-14T08:04:00.000-07:00

A step and a stop and start from the top
A twist and a twirl and go over it again
A sway and a swing and go down with turn
A skip and a hop and ease to a stop

A skip and a hop and ease to a stop
A wave and a tilt and sprint to a jump
A kick and a turn and slow down to a twirl
A step and a stop and start from the top

Friendship

2010-07-20T05:23:00.000-07:00

Who dries your tears
Of sadness and joy
And changes the course
Of that river of cloy
-The best of friends
Who lends his ear

Who shields and secures
In the blackest night
And lifts you up
From the bog of plight
-The dearest of buddies
Who gives his support

Who stands by you
When others flee
And never leaves
A friend in need
-The closest of comrades
Who gives his time

------

Kuka kuivaa kyyneleet
Niin ilon kuin surun
Ja kääntää kulun
Tuon tunteiden puron?
-ystävä parhain
Joka korvansa antaa

Kuka turvaa ja suojaa
Kun maailma on musta
Ja nostaa ylös
Ongelmain suosta?
-Tuttava kallein
Joka tukensa antaa

Kuka seisoo rinnallas
Kun toiset jo kaikkoo
Ja koskaan poistu
Ei ystävän luota
-Toveri rakkain
Joka aikansa antaa

Chains

2010-04-23T06:15:00.000-07:00

I say 'a dove'
They hear a vulture
I draw an apple
They see a viper
My mind is a disease
Destroying their culture
My presence, for them,
is the presence of a sniper

Their murderous thoughts
That my presence brought
Despite all that's taught
Are the ones I sought

These chains I say
And step astray

I offer my help
They hear a threat
I give a rose
They see a spear
Already I'm the enemy
When we've just met
A beast so savage that
The women shed tears

Their shared thought
Long ago wrought
Is finally brought
Against what they've always fought

These chains I write
Then hide and pray

I take a step
They run for a haven
I reach out my hand
They shout a prayer
My laughter it seems
Is the scream of a raven
My smile for them
Is the smirk of a slayer

Their unforgiving thought
For so long sought
-I've learned next to naught
-I'll soon be caught

These chains I embrace
And will not sway

I say "I'll go"
They lash with insults
I turn my back
They throw the stone
Their fear and loathing
Has formed a cult
With time their hatred
Has only grown

Their murderous thought
For which they fought
Brought only distraught
And created naught

These chains I break
And walk away

Heroes Never Die

2010-04-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

In honor of Final Fantasy XIII

Darkness all around
Our lives shattered
Our minds lost
Desperation devouring
Everything we fought
Everything we love

A slave to destiny
Our fate decided
Our path always guided
A pet of the Orphan
With no other choice
With a single focus

But for heroes
It's not about "can" or "can't"
When we fall the world will fall
When we fail the heavens will wail

So still we thrive
To make impossible possible
Tear down the sky
To save what we love
Fight for the right
After our memories have faded
Because heroes never die

Dream in the Distance

2010-02-10T23:44:00.000-08:00

I wake up at night
Again feeling that cold horror
Of being all alone
In the darkness of night
In the deafening silence
I scream in my head
With a voice you can't hear
My hand trembling with fear
I reach to where you should have been
As I encounter only air
My heart sinks as I realize the thought
"It has finally reached me
The nightmare in the distance"

And then tears fill my eyes
When you turn to your other side
And the darkness creeps away
So much I yearn for your touch
But can't bare to wake you
That I wait till the silence is gone
Awake in my nightmare
Quietly reaching towards your light
Crawling through the tears
Remembering that long-gone time
When you were just another
Dream in the distance

Soldier way

2010-02-06T09:29:00.000-08:00

In honor of Mass Effect

A gun in one hand
A noose in the other
Is death really all I can offer?
"You're a soldier"
Is what they say
And to them it means I must obey
But what of my feelings?
What of the other way?
Is there really nothing I can say?
Couldn't I lay my weapon?
Couldn't I just run?
Must I always do what can't be undone?
But I'm a soldier
As I always say
And that means I must obey
I go where I'm told
I fight for my brothers
And orders come before anything other
All I can pray
Is to be quick when I slay
That is the soldier way

Rift Reapers

2009-11-07T01:46:00.000-08:00

Crooks have many names amongst people: Evil-doers, villains, the bad guys. We call them Rift Reapers -those who open the doors. Well, more like the ones that rip holes into the walls between the worlds. We don't know how they came to be -one moment there was none, the next we found the first Reaper. And all too soon there was more of them. There's something in them that allows them to bring objects and creatures from other worlds into ours with a simple thought. I don't know how, I doubt anyone does, but I do know it hasn't been a good thing. Not at all.

We do our best to repair the rifts the Reapers leave behind, to banish whatever they happen to call forth. I suppose that's why people have started to call us Healers, heroes of our world. I guess it's understandable, we are trying to protect our world after all. And sometimes it requires hard actions.

No one knows how we're able to banish what the Reapers can create. Or what really happens. Do we kill them? Send them back to their worlds? Or maybe we simply erase their code from the universe. I guess that would be a more appropriate title -Eraser.

I was discovered when I banished our neighbor's dog. I was two, and got scared when it licked my face, though my supervisor would say it was all a lie if he knew I was told this. I guess it explains why I'm so good at what I do, why banishing Reapers and their creations has never been a problem to me. I didn't even have a problem banishing the Reaper that told me about my past. I seem to be a natural. But I do sometimes wonder where that dog ended up.

The Reapers are sadistic monsters who only want to create chaos and destruction. That's what they've told us many times along the road. Almost always it has been true, at least if you ask their victims. And I, too, used to be sure about it. Unfortunately I haven't been too sure about anything lately. But right now, when I'm standing here covered in the blood of a young unicorn, when the pale blue eyes of the little girl in front of me are starting to understand what ”death” means... Now I know that I'm on the wrong side.

Dream of Dragons and Demons

2009-11-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

I dream of dragons and demons
Dream of faraway places and different times
Walk through this world with my head filled with dreams
Dreams that drive you insane

My dreams are the wrong dreams
For they are not your dreams
My dreams are the wrong dreams
Because they are not what you believe

I dream of dragons and demons
Dream of long-gone days and forgotten honor
Walk amongst you with my head hid in dreams
Dreams that flare your anger

My dreams are the wrong dreams
For they are not your dreams
My dreams are the wrong dreams
Because they don't have your goal

I dream of dragons and demons
Dream of lost peace and misplaced love
Walk away from you with my hand reaching for those dreams
Dreams that you want to destroy

I dream of dragons and demons
Dream of hidden strength and inner beauty
Hold fast to my secret dreams
Dreams you try to change

My dreams are the wrong dreams
For they are not your dreams
My dreams are the wrong dreams
Because that is what you say

I'll just dream of dragons and demons
Dragons and demons till I hear you no more

2009-11-03T10:22:00.000-08:00

A million names, a million faces. A friend, a foe, a distant acquaintance. What I am depends on what you see, what you want me to be. But in truth I am nothing like that, I'm nothing you think I am. I'm not anyone. I'm me.

A writer who can't write

2009-11-03T10:10:00.000-08:00

Here it is again,
The feeling,
The craving,
The need to do something,
Bring something alive.
A sensation of drowning,
Suffocating in your own fear,
And the overwhelming anger
That tears me apart from the inside.
When there's a need to create
without the tools for it.
When you know it's not meant for you
but the need eats you alive.
And then the despise,
The empty sadness that's left
When these words are written
And they are not what they should.

Stray dogs

2009-09-15T11:10:00.000-07:00

A bright summer's day
When you wait a call to go out
A silent winter's night
When you wait for conversations to sprout
Do you know that day, do you know that night?
That lonely quest, that solemn plight?
Do you feel it now, do you hear it too?
Perhaps right now it could all be untrue
If only you were here
Or we both happened to be there

But perhaps there is a way
When there's something we feel the need to say
For me to be there and you to be here
When no one else is anywhere near
So let these humble words take yours away
And let your spirit free and go astray
I might be here
And you may be there
But perhaps somewhere in between
Our spirits find a way to meet

Nothing

2009-09-10T08:17:00.000-07:00

"What's wrong?" you ask
Like the best of friends.
"Nothing," I say
Like the foulest fiend.
"Surely something," you say
"I can see it from your face."

And you keep on insisting
Like a broken reacord,
Till I finally crack
Like a sleeping volcano.

And I pour it all out
Like a bucket of water,
All my fear and hatred
Like an ocean of poison.
All my anger and frustration,
All that pain and suffering
That grows within me,
That I feed within me.

"That's all?" you ask
Like the foulest fiend.
"Yeah, that's all," I say
Like the best of friends.
But inside we both know
That you won't hear,
You won't care,
Because you don't know that nothing
Is the worst kind of something.

Shadows that once were

2009-08-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

A shadow that once was
Is filled with light now
No longer does it hide in the crowd
No longer does it cry
A shadow that once was
Only echoes in memories

A shadow that once was
Found a way to fight
Now stands at the edge of dawn
Now torn between the two
A shadow that once was
Hears only screams

A shadow that once was
Was pushed to deeper darks
New walls to overcome
New paths nowhere
A shadow that once was
Can now only whisper

2009-07-16T10:58:00.000-07:00

When is the right time to give up?
To raise your hands and walk away?
Is there a right time?
Is it ever okay to let go?
Or should you keep trying and trying
Hoping for a change
Till all hope is lost?
Which is worse:
To give up and let hope die
Or live in false hope till hope gives up?

Hearts' Desire

2009-07-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

What do hearts desire
If not to be joined by others
In a dance so sweet and innocent
That it lights them afire

What do hearts desire
If not to be set free from care
So to rise up and up away
Till only angels can fly any higher

What do hearts desire
If not to be swept with tides
Of ideas and epiphanies
That only the living can acquire

What do crying hearts desire
If not to be free from desire

How Silly

2009-06-23T08:59:00.000-07:00

Do you remember yesterday
When we fought like a pair wild cats
How silly it now feels, don't you agree
For me to be angry with a friend like you

Do you remember last month
When we talked for hours and laughed forever
How silly it now feels, at least for me
That such good friends haven't talked in such a while

Do you remember last year
When we last exchanged words as dearest friends
How silly it now feels, I'm sure you agree
For me to miss a friend as old as that

Rorschach

2009-05-17T01:46:00.000-07:00

I stare at the paper
As blank as my mind
Waiting for something to happen
Something to come
Wait and wait
But nothing will come

My mind starts to wonder
As my eyes stay put
Staring at the paper
Still untouched and unharmed
White as the dead
Bright as the past
Shining in the light
Like a sun dying at least

The world gets dim
But the paper still shines
Bright as my mind
In the blackness of my thoughts
As the darkness grows
I still stare
The brightness of the paper
As blank as my mind

Then the light is gone
All left in dark
As the blindness falls over
The white paper is gone
No place to hide
Nowhere to run
As I fall into the dark
The blank paper is no more

As my mind comes back
I look at the paper
The paper I used to know
The paper that was once blank
But no more will it shine in the light
No more will it shine in the dark
For a black blot now spreads there
On the paper that once was white

As I look at the blot
It fills in the blank
Like tendrils of the dark
It spreads through the light
Till it can no more
It's power all gone
Till all is finished
The blank page is done

And as I look at the blot
Now spread on the blank
I see a face I know
The face of my thoughts

Someone on my own

2009-05-06T05:46:00.001-07:00

They call me my mother's child
And my husband's lover
Know me by my blade's fairness
And my vengeance's hunger
But though I love my mother dearly
And feed my vengeance only barely
I wish they knew me as someone else
Something on my own

They know me as the angel's wrath
And the devil's bane
Call me the daybreak's star
And the moonlight's wish
But though death is nothing I fear
Even when darkness is always near
I whish they knew me as something else
Someone on my own

Inside

2009-05-03T06:18:00.000-07:00

They take my presence as a challenge
Think I'm distant to be cold
But there's a fire in my heart
Burning everything to the ground
If what's in tells more than what's out
No wonder no one looks any deeper

They mix humility with kindness
And silence with fear
But there's a viper in my thoughts
Poison in every word
When eyes are the window to your soul
I don't wonder why none will look at mine

They take my cries as a joke
My solitude as peace
But there's a darkness in my heart
Nightmares in my mind
If the inside shapes your outside
No wonder this face is not my liking

Just out of Spite

2009-03-29T06:33:00.000-07:00

There's a voice in my head
Telling me I might as well be dead
On these bad, bad days
When nothing seems to go the right way
Telling me to give it up
Walk away
Because this could never be the right way

There's a tone in their voice
Screaming that I don't have a choice
No choice but to fail
Because I'm just too frail
Screaming me to give in now
Take a bow
It's time for the curtain to fall

Would you give up
Say 'enough'
And accept the way it is?
Could you give up
Vanish in a 'puff'
Be a victim of their truth?

That is what I ask
On these bad, bad days
And I say 'no'
Just out of spite
When nothing is going the right way

Odyssey

2009-02-06T13:25:00.000-08:00

I lead my life
As best as I can
To a direction unknown
To a tale untold
Where -I hope- awaits my role in life

I take the path
That looks the part
Feels about right
Can take me to my passions
And drop me on their path

I walk through the night
The dark and cold
Won't tremble in the rain
Won't falter by the cliff
Not even in the darkest night

But where is my guiding light?
My passions lost along the way
Where is my guiding light?
My time to shine?

Somewhere between India and Ithaca

2009-02-06T12:53:00.000-08:00

"So, what did you do?"
"I found the west way to India."
"No, actually you didn't."
"Oh right....I keep forgetting that. But hey, finding a continent is a lot more impressive anyway."
"That it is, that it is."
"How about you?"
"Me? Oh, I didn't really do anything but sailed around. The odyssey, you see."
"Ah, that thing. Took your time to get back home, eh?"
"Quite long, yeah."
"Hey, you still got back, didn't you? And all those adventures! That really must have made the journey better than the end."
"Well, I'd rather have reatched the end sooner."
"Ah, I wish I could be on an odyssey someday. All those endless possibilities, not knowing where you end up! You're so lucky."
"I guess...Though I'd like to know where I'm heading already."

Hero

2009-01-24T10:48:00.000-08:00

What I need is a hero
Though it's not what I want
Someone to tell me how it is
And to show me how it should be

What I want is a lackey
Though it's not what I need
Someone to say it was a good effort
And to nudge me towards trying again

But what I want is not what I need
Because that's in here already
And it takes a hero to bring it out

An average
Ordinary
Everyday
Superhero

So I better get my cape

The End

2009-01-10T22:32:00.000-08:00

A crook for a cop
An idol for an enemy
Everyone is a hero
When end justifies the means

A dagger for a kiss
A rose for a bullet
Every shot is just
When end justifies the means

A Soul Without A Lover

2009-01-10T08:46:00.000-08:00

Dried tear stains
Missed last trains

An eagle without wings
A fish out of water
Like a lost little thing
Is a soul without a lover

Trust in Man

2008-12-19T01:26:00.000-08:00

Humans.
The peak of evolution.
Lords of the world.
God's special children.

'Trust in Man,' they say.
Have faith in your fellow human.
For we are good.
We are just.
We are merciful.

A woman
Forever scarred by the stranger in the dark.
A boy
Left alone with his nightmares.
A child
Afraid of her own father.
For we truly are good.

A man
Waiting for his last day.
A girl
going to the bathroom after family dinner.
A dog
Put to sleep for being a dog.
Thus we are just.

A child
Giving his life to protect his home.
A man
Forced to kill or be killed.
A country
Destroyed for being what we are not.
Because we are merciful.

Snowfall

2008-12-06T22:19:00.001-08:00

I stood in the middle of the road, listening. We were the only ones in the dark, me and that lonely street light. It cast a pale yellow light behind me, flickering every now and then as if it was tired of burning and was wishing I'd get the hell away from it so it could go to sleep. But I kept standing there, my back against the light so it wouldn't disturb me too much. We stood there together, a tired street light and an odd little girl, alone in the dark.

The clouds were hanging low and covered the stars, but I wasn't there to watch the stars that night. Stars are there everyday, but first snowfall comes only once a year. It wasn't a proper snowfall, at least that's what everyone else would tell you -It didn't last long, and it was too cold for proper snowflakes, it was merely raining tiny spheres of snow. But I'm not too picky, I lost that luxury a long time ago.

The little spheres stole light from the gaze of the street light, which seemed to make it flicker even more, perhaps out of anger since it now had to work twice as hard. It all looked rather beautiful, I'm sure -The snowfall wrapping the world in an icy mist, momentarily hiding us from the demands of reality. Stopping time so we could be free just for a moment. But unfortunately the street light wasn't interested in being free, it just wanted to sleep already, and I was there to listen, not to watch.

Frost had covered the fallen leaves, making them cold and stiff even though they weren't completely frozen yet. The little spheres fell from the sky, creating a quiet rustle as they landed on the leaves all around us. It sounded like a rainstick right when you start to upend it. I let myself get lost in that sound, forgetting the world around me and travelling to a place where things were better, like they used to be.

The street light had had enough, and made sure I knew it by going on and off very demandingly. I sighed a little and slowly opened my eyes. The snowfall was quieting down, and the rustle was becoming too subtle to be heard. I had stolen too much time already, but I couldn't resist opening a small rift and letting a few snow spirits into this dark world. They shot out like tiny rockets, sprinting around me and under the street light with such joy that even the grumpy street light couldn't help to feel a bit more uplifted. One of them even landed on my nose for a moment, it's butterfly wings gently beating the cold air.

I watched the playing spirits, a small smile pushing it's way on to my face, then turned away from the street light again. "You can go to sleep now," I said to it as I started to walk away. It flickered a goodbye to me, but stayed on for a moment longer, letting the spirits race around the edges of it's gaze. The light grew slowly dimmer then, as the street light decided it was high time to get some sleep, and was soon gone. The snow spirits played for a moment longer, shining with a pale white glow, before they vanished with the last of the falling snow.

Fall of a Poet

2008-12-06T22:18:00.001-08:00

See me
Hear me!
See my effort and my battle
Hear my pain and my passion
See me through your eyes
Hear you through my ears
See me in the world you created
Hear me in the world I created
See my part in this time
Hear my longing for a place in life
Why must I fail before you can see me
Why must I fall before you can hear me

Time

2008-12-06T22:17:00.003-08:00

Lying on the green grass
Dreading that the day will pass
With the battle of focus and sway
That leads my mind astray

The should and should not
Twist to form a knot
That leaves me destroyed
And makes every decision void

To take a five
You just need time
From whatever is life
For what you strife

But the world won't wait
Unless you break
Free from the chains
That prevent that change

Autumn Magic

2008-12-06T22:17:00.001-08:00

Fairies in the golden rain
Windows full of water stains
Dragons in the roaring wind
Stories by the fire sing
Wizards in the blazing storm
Words that take an epic form
Centaurns in the rustling streets
Connected by a simple beat
Sirens in the faiding light
Rhymes that wake a secret might
Spirits in the raising moon
Magic breaks by sun at noon

Fly

2008-12-06T22:16:00.001-08:00

Fly.

It's the only thought in my mind that can push through the tears and the pain: Spreading my wings and just flying away. How easy it would be to escape this darkness around me if I could just fly to the heavens –up, up to the clouds and beyond, from the storm and the rain to the quiet, calming light of the stars. Back to home, back to the sweet, blissful peace of my never ending sleep.

Fly.

My feet are not used to running, at least not on the cold, dead concrete. It is as if the street itself is trying to help them, grabbing my feet, sinking icy teeth in my soles to slow me, to pull me down. My grace has gone -I stumble forward in panic like a deer hit by a car. If I could just spread my wings and fly…

Fly.

They scream me to stop, to give in. I can't escape –I know it, and so do they. The pain gives me strength, but it's not enough. I am a stranger here, in their world, lost in their chaos. The lights that guide them to my shadow only confuse me and lead me astray. I no longer know where home is, but I'm quite sure this is the wrong way. But there's no one else I can go. There's no way I can run where they wouldn't find me. Without my wings I can only run, and with every step my end is catching up.

Fly.

I never thought this would be my end -hunted down and defeated in a foreign world, cornered with doom and submittance. I certainly didn't expect to spend my eternity as a pet -To live as a caged bird, its sky stolen from it, its wings broken so it can't escape. Life for freedom.

What they fail to understand, why they failed in their hunt, is that for me freedom is life. Freedom to fly, even with broken wings.

Darkness of Heart

2008-12-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

Those darkest hours I fear and hate.
Failures that weave a web of uncertainty
-The fabric of this darkness of heart.
Those darkest hours haunt my sleep,
So I let them out, push them away,
Reveal the makers of this darkness of heart.

They hate those darkest hours
Where thoughts turn into words
That mirror this darkness of heart.
But I don't want those darkest hours,
The chains of words that have no hope,
That spawn from this darkness of heart.

They wish for that perfect moment,
A word of joy from my hands
Rather than this darkness of heart.
But that perfect moment is mine:
The golden sunrise of a distant planet
That shines through this darkness of heart.

That perfect moment the world would break,
So I keep it safe, hidden and silent,
Behind this darkness of heart.
That perfect moment I keep for myself,
My hope, strength, love.
Just under this darkness of heart.

The Skeleton Closet

2008-12-06T22:14:00.002-08:00

"What's in there?" they ask.
"Nothing, nothing at all," you quickly say
And hastily turn away.
"Nothing, nothing at all," you quietly say
Then lead their attention to the other way.
"Nothing, nothing at all," you whisper a pray
As the closet sinks into the fading gray.

Monsters mauling my mind
Demons destroying my dreams
Dirty little secrets in the skeleton closet
Dirty little secrets in the skeleton closet

Screams and silence
Blood and violence
Those dark deeds done only for pure insolence
Terrifying nightmares in the skeleton closet
Terrifying nightmares in the skeleton closet

"What's in there?" they ask.
"Nothing, nothing at all," you quickly say
And hastily turn away.
"Nothing, nothing at all," you quietly say
Then lead their attention to the other way.
"Nothing, nothing at all," you whisper a pray
As the closet sinks into the fading gray.

Monsters mauling my mind
Demons destroying my dreams
Dirty little secrets in the skeleton closet
Dirty little secrets in the skeleton closet

Tears and rain
Fear and pain
Guilt and regret driving me insane
Painful memories in the skeleton closet
Painful memories in the skeleton closet

"What's in there?" they ask.
"Nothing, nothing at all," you quickly say
And hastily turn away.
"Nothing, nothing at all," you quietly say
Then lead their attention to the other way.
"Nothing, nothing at all," you whisper a pray
As the closet sinks into the fading gray.

To Live a Lie

2008-12-06T22:14:00.001-08:00

I could live a lie.
Fool my heart,
Silence my reason,
Cage my soul.

Just to live a lie.
The lie that you breathe.
The lie that you feed.
The lie that you need.

The lie that was the truth.
For I believed,
And I fought,
And I cried.

All for a truth that would now be a lie.
For I learned,
And I saw.
I woke up.

To a truth that was once a lie.
A truth I could not see,
Could not feel,
Could not believe.

Because I was living a lie.
But my heart saw a light,
My reason found a voice,
My soul broke free.

And the lie became the truth.
And the truth became the lie.

I could have lived a lie.
The lie I fought for,
The lie I believed in,
The lie that fooled our hearts.

Before I learned I couldn't live a lie.

The Seafarer; pt II Tales from the Sea; Bonny Lass (take I)

2008-12-06T22:11:00.000-08:00

Now hear my tale
So sad but true
Of Bonny Lass
The one that flew

For none had known
A maid so pure
As Bonny Lass
And that's for sure

Eyes of sky
And hair of sun
Had Bonny Lass
My only one

No missing teeth
No boils or warts
Had Bonny Lass
Who stole my heart

good to this point

I watched her days
I watched her nights
Bonny Lass (needs work, and a line and a half)

But out of reatch
I could not touch
My Bonny Lass
It cost too much

Something comes here where our hero finds the impossible happening -she knowing who he is, talking to him, spending a day with him. Also should somehow address the problem with her social status.

Her joyous laugh
Then turned to smile
As Bonny Lass said
"Oh, stay awhile."

Something comes here where our hero gets lucky, then finds out he was played, then gets sad because of it, then gets over it. Possibly she having an embarrassing ending with her game.

-ney!
Old Bonny Lass
I have one thing left to say: (needs a line and a half, also doesn't fit the pace)

No tears, no cries
I don't weep for thee
Because my Bonny Lass
Is now the open sea! (doesn't fit the pace)

A Hero's End

2008-12-06T22:10:00.001-08:00

Crossed, I now stand at the edge of end.
For now I must choose between what could be,
And what should be.

To abandon my future for theirs,
To fulfill my duty for their freedom,
To meet my end through their hands,
-That is the road of a hero.
For what else could repay their pain, their sacrifices
Other than my blood, my loss.

The lives I've taken -justified.
The worlds I've destroyed -replaceable.
The sins I've done -forgiven.
And I would be honored as their savior, their greatest hero.

But have I not earned my freedom,
Have I not earned my right for a future?
With the lives I've saved, the families spared, the souls reunited,
Have I not earned my rest?
I have brought them from the depths of darkness to the edge of light,
Showed them the way to glory.
Should they not save themselves?
Should the weak be allowed to triumph if they are unable to stand up for themselves?

Should my future be lost just so they could have theirs?
My happiness forgotten, my pain ignored.
My freedom taken from me.
Should I give up so they could escape death?
Are their dreams worth more than mine?

But could I ever find peace with this past I carry,
With these forgotten souls haunting my dreams?
Those lost in battle,
The victims of my crusade.
Could blood ever be paid with something other than blood?
Could dreams of a betrayer save him from his sins?

I see now that the path has always been straight
-my very first step has lead me to the only end it has to offer.
The masked sins done to save the world,
The lives taken to save others,
The desperate choices to save my soul
-Only my end can pay that price.

So I am left with no other way than to face this end,
For this is what I chose.
This is my story,
My life,
My ending,
And only I can see it through.

The Light of Night

2008-12-06T22:09:00.004-08:00

For them it's only pain
Shards of glass within the rain
The cold grip of a frozen chain
That'll leave them beaten, drained

For them it's a door to fear
Nightmares becoming too real
Their heart struck with a silver spear
And their soul crying the ruby tears

But without pain
There is no gain
And fear is the cane
That puts ice under strain

The road is hard when you reach for the peak
-Not all can be carried by the creek
For some the way is mostly oblique
And tears won't make them weak

Little rain won't lead you astray
For in life, storm hits every way
You can't escape, even if you pray
So understand when their hearts sway

An endless fight
To reach the hights
And the light of night
Is the door to might

My Precious

2008-12-06T22:09:00.003-08:00

Sitting on your throne
Watching behind your silver platter
Your life is the image of perfection

Walking in the summer day
Your energy outshining the sun
You life is finally at peace

And there I am
Sitting in my dark corner
Hiding in my dark mind
And you feel my pain
And it hurts you
Brings back memories
Paints sad images

So you will help
You will lift my sorrows
You will teach me your ways
And thus I, too, will live in the light

But this is my rain
My pain
My nightmare
And it's all I have
The only thing that's mine

The Broken Beast

2008-12-06T22:09:00.001-08:00

Through the rebel's words
And the hero's laugh
Behind the jester's eyes
And the joker's smile
Hides a broken man
Lies a broken heart
Waits a broken beast

Through a stranger's eyes
And the unknown's tears
Behind a friend's wish
And an ally's fears
Speaks a broken man
Beats a broken heart
Hides a broken beast

Through an angel's pain
And a demon's scream
Behind a saint's trouble
And a devil's cry
Falls a broken man
Bleeds a broken heart
Lies a broken beast

Through a stranger's words
And a friend's laugh
Behind a jester's wish
And a devil's fear
Lies a broken man
Speaks a broken heart
Bleeds a broken beast

Pain

2008-12-06T22:08:00.001-08:00

Pain.
No one really deserves it.
I do know it makes us stronger -so much stronger- if we just listen to it, learn from it, embrace it.
And no one can escape pain. We all get hurt, time and time again we get kicked in the face.
Life is cruel, unfair, a pain in the arse. In times it really seems to enjoy to see us suffer, to see us in pain.
And still we triumph, still we pick ourselves up, face every hit head on. We fall over and over again, and still we get up. We still fight back.
Fearing pain is as stupid as fearing the rain. Pain teaches us important lessons, teaches us how to survive. Teaches us how to be happy.

And yet I fear.
Fear because I, as so many others, have to be the one that causes pain.
And I despise myself for it.

Through the Silence

2008-12-06T22:07:00.002-08:00

Can you spare a moment of your time?
Could you stop for just a second?
Sit here with me, just a little while.
Please, just wait a bit.
Thank you.

Now, listen.

Can you hear it?
No, not their laughter.
Listen harder.

Can you hear it?
No, not the birds either,
Nor the wind.
Behind all that.
Just listen.

Can you hear it?
Yes, yes, they all think,
And yes they all smile at you,
But behind that, can you hear it?
Please, just listen a little longer.
Just listen.

Can you hear it?
Yes, yes, that's it,
The nothingness, you hear that?
In the silence, can you hear it?
It's so very quiet, but if you listen...

Can you hear it?
Can you h -what?
No, please, don't go!
Just try one more time,
Just wait a little longer,
Just...
...Listen for the whisper...

Antichrist

2008-12-06T22:07:00.001-08:00

The perfect genes to give the perfect looks
The perfect family to give the perfect values
The perfect friends to give the perfect manners
The perfect faith to give the perfect confidence

I wonder how does it feels:
When everything you say is perfect
With the perfect thoughts
And the perfect words

I wonder what’s it like:
When everything you try is perfect
With the perfect brain
And the perfect success

I wonder how does it taste:
When life is perfect
With the perfect present
And the perfect future

Perfection in every sentence
Perfection in every step
Perfection in every smile

Perfect in every way

None can deny
None can hate
’Cept for the antichrist
Standing bitter outside the limelight

Sleipnir

2008-12-06T22:03:00.000-08:00

From the realm of silence
To this world of noise
Out of place, away from home
Brought to fight the unknown

Scared, confused, lonely

I can hear you
I understand
And together we will flee

You gather your courage
-Follow my lead
Rise to your feet restless, tired
That were once too scared to move
And we run away

From the world of noise
To this realm of peace
From the lies and deceiving
To trust and strength

Determined, eager, as one

You hear me now
You can understand
That together we are strong

I forget my fear and sorrow
-Let go of the past
Spread my wings broken, bleeding
That were too weak to carry me
And we fly away

Love

2008-12-06T22:02:00.003-08:00

Love
is to have someone
who makes you cry when they are leaving,
who makes you laugh when they are away,
who makes you smile when you see them coming,
who makes you sigh when they hold you.

Love
is to have someone
who makes your heart race with one look,
who makes your eyes shine with one word,
who makes your knees weak with one touch,
who makes your troubles melt with one kiss.

Love
is to have someone
who makes you feel loved.

Four Seasons

2008-12-06T22:02:00.001-08:00

Silence without you is like Winter
-never ending chill and darkness.
Happiness without you is like Spring
-a short fleeting moment.
Love without you is like Summer
-only a distant memory.
Eternity without you is like Autumn
-a long wait in the murk.

Silence with you is like Winter
-pure and dreaming.
Happiness with you is like Spring
-bubbling spring of joy.
Love with you is like Summer
-warm and peaceful.
Eternity with you is like Autumn
-a dance of colorful leaves.

Duality

2008-12-06T22:00:00.001-08:00

So near
And yet so far
So much hope
And still too much fear
So clear
And just as confusing
So like a flower
And too close to a spear

So much happiness
So much light
The age-old loneliness
And the long, familiar night

Vultures of Cares

2008-12-06T21:59:00.001-08:00

We are the strong
We are the smart
We are vultures of care
Perfection in our heart

Do you know us?
No, you don't need to.
Do we know you?
No, we don't have to.
We read your mind
We know the answer you can't find

Our eyes see to your soul
Our ears hear your taunts
Our mind finds your flaw
Our words fix your thoughts

Do you know us?
No, you don't need to.
Do we know you?
No, we don't have to.
We are the only choice
Final truth in our voice.

We are the strong
We are the smart
We are vultures of care
Perfection in our heart

Help Wanted

2008-12-06T21:57:00.000-08:00

What to say to a friend you have known forever
Even when you only met them yesterday
How to explain you miss them already
When it's only been a moment
How to say you know how it feels
When your lives are nothing alike
How to tell you'll be there
When you're miles apart

To see the sorrow in the smile
To hear the cry in the laughter
To feel the pain in the voice

How to tell you see through the words
Hear through the words
Feel through the words
How to say you'll help
When there's nothing you can do

Hi, Hello, How Are You

2008-12-06T21:55:00.000-08:00

Here we go again
The way we always do
"Hi, hello, how are you?"
The rutine, the ritual, the same old answers
Then the wait, the small talk, I wonder what it's about today
And as I listen I hear your thoughts
Hear the echoes of your words:

What would you know about pain?
How could you understand loss?
When has someone ever hurt you?

And as you talk I think:

What would I know about pain when I've never lived my life?
How could I understand loss when I've never dared to risk it?
When has someone ever hurt me when I've never let anyone close?

And as you stop our thoughts are the same:

What could I say?
How could I understand?
When would I be of any help?

Heroes anf Villains

2008-12-06T21:53:00.000-08:00

What makes a hero, and who becomes a villain? What makes the future generations admire the actions of one individual, and despise the actions of another? When does the road become a one way street?

Many say that heroes are born to do great things, and this is true. But not because they are heroes. Heroism is not in the genes, there is no divine call that only they can hear. We may born with different gifts but everyone has the same opportunity to make a change in the world. The difference is that not everyone can recognise that something has to change.

Even villains start their journey as regular individuals, they are not born with a special craving for evil. Instead they can see the flaws of the world, the same way as heroes can. The difference between heroes and villains is in the actions they take in order to make a change. But they are not the ones who decide which road leads to admiration. Those who can see only aim to make a change -the ones who are blind to the truth decide what is right, and what is wrong.

Often we think that heroes want to make a change because their soul is pure, so pure that it can not take the suffering of others. That heroes fight our fights selflessly, without gain, with unnatural longing for peace. In the same way we often think that villains want change because their black, rotten soul needs power, revenge and the pain of others, that it yearns for blood. But we forget that what we know about heroes, and villains, is never the whole truth. The blade has two edges.

Neither heroes nor villains are made by some unnatural quality of mind. It may decide how they react, and which actions they decide to choose, but it is not what makes them work for a change. No, heroes and villains, the ones who can see, are made by pain, loss and death. Pain that follows them all eternity, loss than opens their eyes, death that makes them fight to change the world that caused it all. Heroes want revenge, revenge for what made them suffer, payback with interest to whatever they feel is wrong and unpure in this world, till there's nothing left that would cause more pain. Villains want equality, equality amongst the whole existence, an eye for an eye, till everyone can see.

In the end there are no heroes, and no villains. Just those who see, who want to make a difference. We who can't see need something that justifies their actions, that justifies our inability to see.

Truth Be Told

2008-12-06T21:51:00.001-08:00

Truth, don't ask for the truth. For there's no one truth that would solve your problems, no truth that would be absolute always. Truth is in the eye of the beholder, it changes as you change, and it's never the same for everyone. No one can give you the truth you seek. You have to define it on your own.

No name #2

2008-12-06T21:50:00.001-08:00

Tired of trying
So tired of crying
Tired of feeling how the circuits in my head are frying
So let me be
Just set me free
Why can't you see
That I'm so tired of trying

No name #1

2008-12-06T21:48:00.000-08:00

I will be your shield if you will be my sword
I will reflect the light you have inside and keep the darkness away
I will take the hits meant for you and guard you from pain
My life will be your armor protecting you till the end
-If you will be my sword
If you will cut through the chains and free me from myself
If you will chase the demons away and give me the strength to stand tall
If your heart will be my light guiding me through the night
-Then I will be your shield

Just Another Day

2008-12-03T05:55:00.001-08:00

Just another day
Nothing that unusual.
Another day
And still it's not the same.
Dreams of the past,
The truths untold.
Memories of the present,
The secrets revealed.
Visions of the future,
The hope lost with knowledge.
The words unsaid for protection,
The deeds done for harming.
And we feel the need to say
It's just another day.

Two

2008-12-03T05:53:00.000-08:00

Two worlds,
And I'm torn in between.
One is hopeful -the other, at peace.
One is dramatic -the other, lonely.
One is unreal -the other, painfully true.

Two sides of me,
Two minds of their own.
A wish that they could once be the same.
A knowledge that the roads will never meet.
And a choice that I have to make.

The Dragon of Saint George

2008-12-03T05:52:00.000-08:00

My youth, that is what they want. Offering bribes, poisoned lamb and unwanted brides. Minor sacrifices for the secret of age, to see the future with devices of rage. The smell of burning flesh as their sweet perfume, and the world waking up to it's doom. No, I will refuse, no matter how they taunt.

But what is this, something has changed, it seems this one stays out of range. And now comes sir knight with his blade, to bring the endless night where I could fade. So be it Sir George, let us see who strikes a deeper gorge.

Two Eyes, Two Minds

2008-12-03T05:51:00.000-08:00

A Dreamer.
Naive and absentminded.
Here to save the world.
But dreams are all illusions.
The world doesn't want to be saved.
Cold hearted and indifferent.
A Cynic.

A Cynic.
Morbid and dark.
Alone against the world.
But maybe not alone.
It's a big world.
Hopeful and curious.
A Dreamer.

So Long

2008-12-03T05:49:00.000-08:00

It started with a sigh, and a sudden silence.
I let it die after some words of violence.
For long I tried, but you remained afar.
Even when I cried, you were just a distant star.
So I let it die, ending it with a sigh.

Shadows

2008-12-03T05:48:00.000-08:00

You can see them:
The shadows in the crowd, the silence of their souls shining through their eyes as they walk alone and watch the living.

You can feel them:
The warmth they radiate as you walk by, it's light piercing through your dark thoughts and showing you the colours of life once again.

But you can't hear them:
The quiet request to stay, to show the light of your soul, so they too could feel the warmth at least once.

Only other shadows hear through the silence.

Rain of Leaves

2007-10-06T07:37:00.001-07:00

Falling stars and dying dreams
Crashing clouds over stormy seas
Searching through the darkest night
Waiting for a ray of light

Watching all the swaying trees
Standing in a rain of leaves
Screaming through the faintest weep
Longing for a peaceful sleep

Drop By Drop

2007-09-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

The rain starts to fall
Drop by drop
Down through the gathering clouds
On to the green grass hill
Where a fire burns bright and warm
Standing strong against the falling rain
Deflecting the cold, drop by drop

As winds start to rise the rain gets heavy
Drop by drop the water falls
To form a pond, to grow into an ocean
The fire struggles with fading strength
Earth is lost, trees are broken
As the dark water draws near
Drop by drop

Drop by drop the rain continues
Closing in on the dying flame
Till nothing is left, the fire is out
All that remains is water and wind
The black sea
The steel grey sky
And the last, lonely drop

Wait and Waste

2007-08-25T01:14:00.000-07:00

Here I am again.
Waiting.
Wasting time that doesn't even belong to me.
I sit, in the dark, alone, floating in the sea of my bad mood, pouring more water in it with every minute.
Waiting.
Waiting when I should be taking care of the home, the dog, the cultural experiences, the fun.
I should just get up and do something, be responsible, be happy, not think about it.
Stop waiting for a life that will never be mine.
Stop dreaming of something, anything.
And stop wasting time.
It doesn't belong to me.
It should go into being satisfied with the reality, finding what's worth in it.
It should go into living. Making memories. I know.
It's not meant for waiting and wasting, not meant for feeding the demons that make sure I will always feel alone.
It's not meant to be wasted on me.
But I still wait.
Wait and waste, because I don't care.
What else is there?

Saints and Angels

2007-08-20T14:47:00.000-07:00

Flying with the butterfly wings
Can you hear how the angel sings?
Of laughter and joy and happy thoughts
And the dreams it today caught

Saints and angels with their pretty smiles
Saints and angels with their petty cries

Sitting by the golden gates
Can you see the waiting saint?
The perfect, pure and ever so kind
No dark wish clouding it's mind

Saints and angels with their pretty smiles
Saints and angels with their simple trials

Crawling through the darkest night
Can you see the devil fight?
The shadows, demons all closing in
The only way out leading through sin

Saints and angels with their pretty smiles
Saints and angels with their peaceful eyes

Welcome

2007-08-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

Words from a warped mind
Thoughts of a twisted soul

A journey through the deepest dark
To find the brightest light
A quest of truth and knowledge
And of peace of mind

A search
A search for myself
And someone who understands

The world inside awaits
The realm of twisted thoughts
Enter, you are welcomed

A life in a box

2007-08-16T03:09:00.000-07:00

The first one you see -The last one you notice

Sorrow
pain

guilt

hidden from their eyes

kept in the dark

to give you hope and dreams

and wings for your soul

to set it free

The box includes:
pictures
an Iron Maiden CD
dark chocolate
a book by Brown
a purple alien
a knife with a peach colored handle
a whitered tulip
a comic book about a nerdy gang roleplaying
a dragon
a thesis about women in the middle ages
a book about westies
a quote book

an article about vet humor

The Dragon's Keep

2007-07-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time in a far away land, hidden deep within a snowy forest, sat an old castle, dark and grey. As long as anyone could remember it had been at peace, standing in it's cold solitude without visitors. The stories told about sky-high walls surrounding a treacherous labyrinth where vicious beasts and traps guarded the central tower. A few stories claimed that there was a magnificent treasure on the top of the tower, but the howl of the mysterious beasts kept all visitors away, and the stories were never proven right or wrong.

Till one day came a knight, riding his white steed to a small and quiet village, asking about the castle. The villagers told him what they knew, but had agreed to do this only after the knight had revealed the source of his curiosity. He told them that the castle was in fact a dragon's keep, filled with riches the kind no one had ever seen -and a fair maiden, trapped by the dragon long ago, forced to stay all eternity in her cage. This was his quest, to free the maiden and all the land from the cold grip of the dragon.

The villagers took the news quite calmly, but refused to offer any help. This suited the knight fine, for a knight on a quest can only ask for a place to stay for the night, all other help is prohibited. So the next morning he rode off towards the forest, with only his sword and shield to accompany him.

An eerie silence hung over the snow-glad forest. No living creature could be seen, nothing broke the frozen stillness except the small clouds of powder snow the horse lifted up as it walked deeper into the white wilderness. But despite the tranquility of his surroundings the knight could not help the feeling of being watched, as if an ominous power unknown to man was lurking right beyond the edges of observation. This obscure atmosphere made him feel a bit uneasy, but as his thoughts wandered to his noble quest once again he gained new strength, and as the sun rose behind him he could see the castle walls looming in the distance. His armour shining with the warmth of the midday sun, his determination shining with the purity of his heart, the knight fearlessly rode closer. All world was quiet as he dismounted the steed and searched the massive wall for a crack, a door, a way in -but his search was in vain, for not even the smallest creature could get through the black stone. His only option was to climb. The wall was so high that it's top could not be seen from the ground, it merely vanished within the fog that was lingering around the castle. But he had no choice, he was on a quest to save this land from the ever possible threat of an evil and vicious dragon, and his need to do good would not let him turn back. He left his heavy armour behind and only took a light chest plate and his trusted sword and shield with him, chose what looked to be the easiest way up the wall, and slowly started to climb.

Battling against strong, ice cold winds the knight climbed up painfully slow, his fingers numbed by the frozen stone and cut by the sharp edges, his muscles aching from the cold. He lost his sense of time, did not know if it was day or night, or how long he had been climbing. All he knew was that he needed to get to the top and over to the other side, to fulfill his quest, and save the fair maiden. And somehow, after the climb that felt like it had lasted a day too long, the knight made it all the way up to the top of the great wall.

From the top he could see the castle grounds spreading in front of him, the deadly maze a dozen feet from the wall waiting to be entered, and the tower in the middle stretching towards the sky, lit by the afternoon sun. It seemed that the castle was built on a small hill, because the wall was far lower on the inside, low enough for a safe jump down. The knight then focused his attention to the maze, following the path from the entrance to the tower in the middle, trying to capture what he saw as images in his mind. He could not see anything moving within the maze, but he could hear the roars of the beasts as they lurked in the shadows, waiting for their next victim. But he knew turning back was not an option, the shame of failure would not be accepted. The knight sat on the wall for a moment longer, gathering his strength, watching the peaceful world on the other side of the wall to awaken his determination, and then jumped down.

The ground was frozen solid, but no snow was inside the castle walls. As he walked towards the entrance of the labyrinth the knight noticed that the air was colder here, and that somehow light wasn't able to illuminate as much as it had outside the walls. He felt as if a freezing hand was inside his chest, starting to hold his heart tighter and tighter with every step he took. By the time he got to the entrance the pain had grown so strong that his legs refused to take him any further. The thought hit him hard: he would not be able to make it. He would have to return as a failure, and spend the rest of his life mocked by everyone. He would not be worthy of the sword. But then a vision of the fair maiden filled his doubting mind, the helpless princess locked away in the tower, surrounded by riches like never seen, but never being able to enjoy them. And with that thought he knew he could not turn back now, he had to put an end to the reign of the horrid beast. It was his destiny to become a servant of the sword. And thus the knight buried his growing fear, and stepped into the dark maze.

He had expected the labyrinth to be a demanding trial, one that would require all his cunning and strength. He had asked the scholars about the common designs of mazes, brought with him some chalk and a torch, and spent hours training in the dark, preparing his mind should he be trapped without light. And from the top of the wall he had memorised a simple map that would most likely lead him through the maze. He had prepared for the worst -or so he thought. But after just a few moments spent within the dark and twisted corridors of the labyrinth he was proven wrong. There was no pattern he could follow, the route through that he had seen from the wall was nowhere to be found. The traps and the hordes of monsters forced him to retrace his steps more than once, and most of the time he felt he was going further away from the tower. His only hope was to believe that the ever more ancient design of the traps, and the increasing number of monsters he encountered meant that he was getting closer to his destination.

Then, just as he was losing his hope, it was over. There were no more monsters, no traps, no dead ends. Just a straight corridor and behind it a clearing. The knight found himself standing at the base of the mighty tower, the only part of the age old castle that was still standing, and a few feet from him waited a wooden door. His eyes travelled up and saw a light shining from the top window, clearly visible against the now storm-grey sky. It had to be where the maiden was imprisoned, surrounded by heaps of treasure -the setting of his final trial, after which he would have earned the glory and admiration. The knight tried the door, and found it to be unlocked. As he stepped into the dimly lit space he saw old, worn-out stairs leading to the top. The surrounding walls were covered with dried blood and what looked like ancient writing, impossible to understand. Nothing could be heard, somehow the noises from the outside world didn't get pass the thin door, and the tower itself was silent as the grave. The knight stood there for a moment, preparing himself once again, taking deep breaths till his heart started to quiet down and his mind was at ease, and then began the climb up to meet his destiny.

He was once again trapped with no knowledge of time, there were no windows through which the knight could have observed his apparent rise. No natural light came in, and in the gloom world lit by torches day and night were one and the same. At first he had been moving up swiftly, his sword ready and his spirits soaring high through victory in his mind, but as he kept climbing and the stairs kept on going exhaustion started to catch up with him. Soon he was too tired to hold his sword up, and the only reason why he was still walking was that his legs couldn't stop anymore. The air was getting hotter and the writing on the walls had turned into pictures that were just as incomprehensible for the knight. Every now and then he stumbled upon an empty helmet or a broken sword, all of unfamiliar design, the likes of which he had never seen, not even in the old books of the scholars. His body and soul were demanding rest now, but he was too afraid to stop and thus kept going, having only enough energy to keep his legs moving.

What seemed like a lifetime later the knight reached the top of the tower at last. His legs gave in and he collapsed on the floor, too exhausted to care should he his presence be revealed to the dragon. He tried to take off his chest plate for he had trouble breathing the hot air of the tower, but he was too tired to move. So the knight just lay there on the floor, powerless, hoping that the dragon was not home at the moment.

He woke up with a startle as his mind remembered where he was. The knight quickly got up to his feet, drawing his sword, but there was no danger to be seen. He looked around the room, surprised how vast it was, and saw that it was empty, no piles of treasure anywhere to be seen. Only an empty iron cage, hanging from the ceiling. Deep disappointment filled his mind and the knight was no longer able to hold back his bitter tears. But then suddenly he heard a noise, coming from within the cage. He lifted his eyes, and could now see a figure -the back of a woman in a golden dress. It looked like the maiden was crying, and had not noticed him yet. Since the dragon was nowhere to be seen, the knight sheathed his sword and slowly moved closer. He could now see that the cage was actually hanging over a very thin sheet of ice instead of a stone floor. The knight stopped to examine this wonder, for it should have been too warm for any ice to survive in the tower, not to mention ice so thin he could see the long drop down to the bottom of the tower through it.

It took a moment for him to notice that the tower was silent again. As the knight looked up he saw the maiden looking back at him -and then took a step back in shock. For what he had taken as a fair haired maiden in a golden dress was in fact a maiden made of pure gold. The dim light of the torches made her skin and hair shine like the sun itself, and a few silver tears were still on her cheeks, underneath her diamond eyes. Deep scars, almost as if she had been welded together, ran here and there on her body. Her eyes were shining with gratitude and her smile filled with relief as she looked through the bars. The knight was starting to recover from the shock, now understanding that his quest had been a success greater than he had ever imagined, his feat outshining even the deeds of the heroes of old. He would become a legend, a living legend. As he smiled back at her the knight extend his arm, trying to reach the maiden through the bars. But just as their fingers were about to touch, a deafening roar filled the room and shook the very foundations of the tower. The dragon had arrived, it's black body blocking all light so that only it's eyes, made of pure fire and filled with ancient wrath, could be seen. The knight jumped away from the cage, drawing out his sword once again, but he didn't even have time to lift up his shield before the boiling flames surrounded him and turned him into a pile of dust.

The rattle that the knight's blackened shield made as it fell to the floor was the only sound that could be heard after the dragon was done. It stood frozen for a moment, as if savouring the feeling of victory over yet another petty mortal trying to challenge it, or perhaps waiting to see if there was anyone else hiding in the dark. Then it disappeared just as silently as it had arrived, leaving the maiden yet again alone, accompanied only by her tears.

9LoC Part 8 -Steven

2007-07-21T12:34:00.000-07:00

Our story starts with a bench. It's no different from the other benches though, no more comfortable, no more ancient or worn down. It's green paint was chipping off here and there, but other than that it was in good condition, just like the rest. The reason why it was less used was probably because the way it was placed: For some reason it was right at the edge of the park, facing the busy street instead of the pond. Most choose to watch the ducks instead of the rush hour.

But there was a man that came to sit on this particular bench every now and then. There was no telling when he would come, or how long he would stay, it seemed as if he just got a random thought. He came without a warning, sat down, and left just as suddenly as he had come. Always on this bench, and always alone.

Until she came.

It was an evening just like the rest as the man once again came without an apparent reason to sit and watch the busy street. But as he got closer he was greeted with a surprise -the bench was not empty. On the further end sat a girl, no, a young woman, seemingly unaware of the man's presence. He stopped, unsure what to do -he didn't want to intrude, but he also didn't want to leave since he was already there. Maybe she was a mind reader, or maybe he just wasn't hiding his thoughts that well, but she gave him a look and moved half an inch away from his end, signaling that it was okay for him to take a seat. He sat down, and so there they were, two strangers, sitting alone together, watching the people walk by.

From now on she, too, would come at random. At first the man still sat alone most of the time, but in a few weeks their schedules seemed to synchronize, and whenever he came, the woman was there. They didn't talk, just changed a nod and a look before and after the silent

Nine lives of Cat

2007-07-21T12:21:00.000-07:00

Part 1: Leo
Part 2: The First
Part 3: Pain
Part 4: Desperation
Part 5: The Failure of Thomas
Part 6: Alexander
Part 7: Darkness of Heart
Part 8: Steven
Part 9: The End